i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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