Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
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