Pappa wants mamma naked
i would punch a child for taco bell
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
