He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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