This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
