its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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