you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
