I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
