i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
