he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
should my penis look like a turkey
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
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