Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Randomize
