i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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