Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
