party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
