your thong is hanging out like whoa
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
