I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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