I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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