You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
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