I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize