Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
