Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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