Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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