You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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