I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
