We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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