my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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