also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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