i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
