This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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