If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I need a beard to bite.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
