how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Enjoy the penises
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
