I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I'm at about main and main street
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
