u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
as a side note pls kill me
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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