watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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