yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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