dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Randomize