I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
