I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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