Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
