we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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