when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
