I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Randomize
