Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I FOUND THE LEGS
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize