BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
