i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
