The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
