I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
