thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
He has the fingertips of a God
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
