My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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