dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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