I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
