just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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