I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
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moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
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Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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