mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
