Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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