sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
