dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
