the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize