You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
