we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
