He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
