so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Rumble strips road head = magical
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize